I think it is safe to assume that any folks out here reading are a fan of the anime, am I right?
Good.
Is it also safe to assume that you all know of these things called conventions? Where large groups of like-minded individuals gather for a common interest (bootleg dvds, hats made to look like cat ears)? Then that is where we shall begin.
The names of the parties involved have been changed for my own protection, as I sort of swore to secrecy in one of these events. Now things all started with my good friends Joon & J. The two of them, the year before, went to an Anime Convention out of state and they came back talking about how much fun they had, playing in Super Smash Bros. tournaments, hot chicks, etc. For the following year they begged me to go along with them to the next convention, it was around that time that I had quit my job and money was tight but fuck it, I wanted to have a good time. The Con started Friday night, the drive was 7 hours away, so we figured we would leave Friday morning together and get there in time for fun-times that night. Back tracking a bit, Lenny invited two more of his friends to come along, Tood and K. *Editor's Note* K and Joon had once dated for quite a bit, but the year before, she dumped him, and then he foolishly introduced Tood to K.
The Wednesday before the big drive, we found out that J and I have a test in a class that friday, and we couldn’t get it rescheduled.
Fuck.
But no worries! Joon hatches the idea of taking his car, and still driving up Friday morning, that he would take Tood and K with him; so that we wouldn’t lose our hotel reservation. Then after J and I completed our tests, we would boogie on down Saturday morning. Friday, we took our tests (both of us passed with flying colors, but in actuality because I forgot to turn in a paper to some plagiarism checking website, I still failed the class…mother fucker) and the following morning we arose ready for a fun day driving.
Oh man did J and I have a blast! We were blasting muzak, windows down, speeding all the way (I learned my car maxed out at 100mph)! But what about Joon, Tood, and K??? Well, about halfway there, we get a phone call. It’s from Joon.
“I fucking hate you guys”
Why? What happened? Did you guys get down there alright?
“Yep, I just woke up in my car.”
What! Did you not get our hotel room?
“No, we got the room alright”
Joon then tells us a tragic tale, you see, Tood and K were stupidly in love. Joon told us that he was stuck driving for 7+ hours, pretty much in solidarity, as the two love birds didn’t talk much during the drive. But that’s not that big of a deal. What happened later was what will never be forgotten. I have long since forgotten what he told me of what all three of them did at the con, that didn’t matter. But that Friday night, Joon, Tood, and K settled down to sleep. Or so Joon thought. He said that he woke up in the middle of the night in the two-bed hotel room to go to the bathroom, when he went back to bed, he heard it. The sound he described was like taking a spoon and stirring a bowl of Mac & Cheese. “Oh no” he thought “They’re making out” but that immediately changed when he immediately heard Tood whisper “Oh yeah”, “Just like that”. He then proceeded to roll over in bed loudly (the two birds were sleeping on the floor, even though we had two beds) so that they might realize what he was hearing. But that sound of Mac & Cheese continued. Joon then said that he got out of bed, and just left the room. He spent the rest of the night lying on his hood, staring at the stars, and then went to sleep in his car. Needless to say J and I were laughing so hard that I could barely control the vehicle. Our dear pal, was trapped in another state, with his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. Not only that but they had been dating just a fraction of how long Joon and K had been going out (he never hit dat neither) and they were doing God-knows-what in the same room as him.
“You owe me big time, fuckers”
When we got there, we found Joon in the game room and gave him a big hug. Our little trooper. The rest of the day was rather uneventful, we played vigigames, bought t-shirts, listened to some shitty band (But they did have catchy song titles like “Jackie Chan” and “I want to have sex with you”. At some point in the day, our discussions came to the movie “Into the Wild”, I had never seen it, and this is where I met my first RedBox. With DVD in hand, all 5 of us went back to the room, I stayed up watching the movie, while everybody went to sleep.
Or so I thought.
About halfway into the movie, I heard a sound, a sound that very much reminded me of stirring Mac & Cheese. In my horror, I coughed really loudly, trying to alert Tood and K to my state of awareness. Thankfully, the noise stopped. I finished the movie, and drifted off to sleep.
The rest of the weekend was rather uneventful, but as part of J and I feeling sorry for Joon, I agreed to drive Tood and K home. Yes, it was a rather lonely 5 hours, they hardly uttered a word, and spent most of it wrapped in each other’s arms, gazing into their lover’s eyes. Makes me sick.
Then the rain came.
I mean, holykafuckingshit rain. I had my wipers going full-blast, and I still could barely see the road, let alone other drivers. Also at the same time, I found myself getting very, very, very sleepy, and the lack of stimulating conversation didn’t help. I pulled off to a Rest-Stop and we chilled until the weather cleared up a bit. I then asked if either Tood or K, would drive for a bit, while I napped. K agreed to.
Why did I ever let a woman drive my car? Well, I was that sleepy.
So I put my head down in a pillow, sitting in the passenger seat, and close my eyes for 30 seconds.
Then I hear tractor trailer horns blowing loudly.
I open my eyes in panic, and sure enough, K has driven out the wrong exit to the rest stop and we are now facing oncoming traffic on I-70. Fuck. Me. Running. *Editor's Note* This is actually the second time this has happened to K, on the ride up, she drove a leg of the trip and did the exact same thing, right in to oncoming traffic.
Thankfully she was competent enough to turn around, and off we were! I drift off to sleep, weary that I may never wake up.
Thankfully I did. One hour later.
Fuck!
I decide to drive the rest of the way, chugging some nasty Cappuccino thing from those shady machines. We make it home; I drop off Tood and K. Tood said he would reimburse me for the last tank of gas. But alas I never saw that money. Nor to this day does he feel it necessary to pay me back since “my parents just pay for everything” even though I not only said he only owed $20 when he really owed me $35 in gas, and I paid for my part of that trip, with my own money, from my own job, and he to this day lives off his parents, and does not hold a job.
-Tune in next time for my harrowing tale of vengeance, humiliation, and much more.
Until next time, Bojac.
